When the world says "Give up", Hope whispers "Try one more time!"
Following on from my last update...I had had the endo scratch, which went fine and i had to wait for my period before start this FET round. Firstly I started taking my meds (Fragmin, Levothyroxine, Estrogen, Progynova, Folic Acid) and i had a scan around 10 days after to check the lining of my womb. I started taking my Progesterone Pessaries (ew they are messy and quite inconvient, haha) Everything was fine and they scheduled me in for my Transfer on the 13th July (my birthday)
They gave us a call on the 12th July to check we still wanted to go ahead (of course!!) and told us they were going to defrost our embryo :) and would call us back in an hour and half to let us know that it survived. We were so nervous!
After an hour i got a call. I was fearing the worst but the embryologist said it had thawed out perfectly and was a really good embryo, and it had even started to hatch. This was the best news. :)
On July 13th we got up early and drove 1.5hrs to the clinic (we were on holiday in yorkshire all week)
They were really nice with us. I had a full bladder (as you are supposed to have one) and so i was so eager to get it done. I told the embryologist i had a tilted womb as she hadn't mentioned it and she said "Oh! Please empty your bladder then, it'll be so much harder with a full bladder" - music to my ears!
I lay on the bed with Rick next to me and then showed us our little embaby on the TV screen. It was a little beaut.
It was a quick but careful procedure, it didn't hurt me at all and we could leave as soon as i was fully dressed afterwards. They wished us the best of luck, told me it wouldn't fall out so just treat it as any normal day but no heavy lifting for a while and she told me of a few things not too eat (pate, runny eggs etc etc)
We drove back to the cottage in Gisburn full of anticipation and hope.
I was really offside on transfer day, and felt sick and hot the day after too. The following few days i sometimes felt bloated.
I wrote down how i was feeling each day:
2dp5dt (2 days past 5 day transfer) - Lower back ache, tired, losing my breath easy
3dp5dt - Small twinges near left ovary
4dp5dt - no notes!
5dp5dt - I had major cramps and bloating like i felt like i was going to come on my period. Feel uncomfortable sitting still. Lightheaded when missing a meal/not eating regularly.
6dp5dt - BFN (Big Fat Negative) on pregnancy test - no idea why i tested so early, slight back ache, slightly bloated.
7dp5dt - BF? Tested with a Clear Blue early response and i can see a shadow of a line, maybe an evap line?
8dp5dt - BFP!!! Very faint but definitely a line, heartburn
9dp5dt - Still a BFP but still very faint. Heartburn.
10dp5dt - BFP - Rick can clearly see the line. Heartburn, back ache.
11dp5dt - Blood Test Day at Wrightington. POSITIVE! We are pregnant - However my beta is only 22 and needs to double in the next 2 days. Heartburn, feeling bloated.
12dp5dt - didnt take a test. Wanted a break to enjoy it while i can. I google a lot about Beta's and know mine is not good so i am preparing for the worst.
13dp5dt - BFN - Did a test and saw no line. Showed Rick and he couldn't see one either. :(
Blood test 2. They rang back and said my beta was 8.5 and that it was an early miscarriage (chemical pregnancy) and to stop all meds and wait to bleed.
Very very emotional...however it a massive step compared to last time and i'm very happy to know i can get pregnant. It just wasn't our time.
I hope this isn't something more sinister wrong like Natural Killer cells or anything, i'm hoping it just bad luck.
I'm not gonna lie, its been a horrible week. Getting so excited whilst trying not too, seeing the two lines on a test, amazing!! And then the devastating news that it wasn't growing and wouldn't turn into our dream baby. Waiting to bleed. Starting to bleed. its horrible but yet i still feel positive and confident that it will happen for us eventually.
Okay, so lets try and lighten the mod with a haul. When sad, shop!
I got some birthday money and had ful intentions of using it for another bottle of Estee Lauder doublewear and possibley some REN moisturiser. However, when in debenhas i happened to come across a pallette i had been eyeing up online for nearly a year. The Too Faced Sweet Peach Pallette.
I mean come on!! Just look at it. Its soooo up my street. And smells delish. It was £39, but i had a £10 voucher so i got it for £29 :)
Whilst in Debenhams i had a smell of the Marc Jacobs Decadence and its amazing!!! So when i go away in Aug i am soooo buying that at Duty Free.
I also hit Primark whilst in town, it had to be done. The range was rather shite though, the Wigan Primark did not hit the spot this weekend. I did get a couple of things though, and i love them so much.
Please welcome my first ever playsuit (will only ever wear this on holiday) and my first pair or 90's mules. Haha.
The playsuit is actually a size up from what i would normally buy because they didn't have my size, however i don't mind this as it feel nice and comfortable. It's black, white and khaki. £10 Primark.
I never thought i would buy a pair of these. I've seen some many vloggers/bloggers getting on this trend and i was lie "omg those are awful!" and yet here i am loving them. I really don't know what changed my mind. These were £10 Primark. They are a lovely mink/nude/grey? I'm not 100% sure what colour they are but i do love them. They have a few other colours and i was tempted by the nude but these looked good with my skin tone however the nude would have gone with every outfit.
I also picked up these chokers and earrings for my holiday.
When i was in London at the beginning of July, Gymshark had a pop up store and me and my sister popped in :)
I got the matching leggings and sports bra in grey. The leggings are super high waisted, and super comfy.
BUY HERE £40 - (the lilac top is from Tesco £8)
The below camo jacket is from Tesco and is my favourite purchase this month. It's warm even though it's not full sleeves and its casual but gives a little bit of something extra to an outfit. I think it was £15 in the sale.
