Our Paid round of IVF

When our last NHS round failed i felt down. Why was this taking so long to work? Why could every else get pregnant so easily? I started to even resent the people that it worked first time for...and that was wrong but i was so fed up. Yet, it never entered my head to give up. I was all ready to start the process again...i hate waiting.

I knew we would now have to get a loan to fulfill our dreams. But luckily for us my fella's parents had the money set to one side and offered to pay for us. How amazing! 

We decided to check out Access Fertility as they have package deals and i had heard good things about them. We decided to do the 3 rounds, 50% refund programme. This was £10,800, which actually is a great deal considering a normal round can cost between £4-6k. We had to pay for the Meds ourselves, so that was probably around £900 for the first round (fresh)

I will do a run down of the process and things i did differently this round.

Supplements I have been taking for Egg Quality and overall IVF support

• Folic Acid (5mg)
• Collagen Complex with Hylauric Acid (recommended by Acupuncturist to support womb and keep it moist)
• CoQ10
• Levothyroxine 75mg (Prescribed for my Thyroid Antibodies)
• DHEA 75mg per day
• High Dose of Vit D

I also did accupuncture. I did around 2 sessions before collection, then a session before and after transfer.

Let's begin!

When our funding got approved, we could pretty much start on my next period. I got my meds from our clinic as they were cheaper then going to ASDA. I chose to take Lubion injections instead of pessaries as i really struggled with the pessaries (they are so messy) and i was always conscious i wasn't getting enough of the dose. 

The Stimming part of my cycle was pretty much like any other round. It went quick, and i responded well. I always seem to get a decent amount of follicles on each ovary, on my first scan they were between 9mm and 13mm with a random 16mm! I think i averaged around 16 on each side from what i can remember. after next couple of scans i was told to trigger on Saturday 2nd March at 10:30pm (this night i was throwing a surprise party for my fella's 40th! so i had to do it in the toilets) 

When we were talking about egg collection they suggested i may need to freeze all like i had done previously but i stressed how much i didn't want to do that this time and i really wanted to do a fresh transfer. She said as long as they don't get more than 20 eggs out then i can do a fresh. 

On collection day (Monday 4th March 10:30am) they got around 11 eggs. I was okay about that, it was average for us. I now just had to wait to see how many fertilised - this was the worrying stage. 

On the 5th March we got told that 3 had fertilised. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst. We had to pray all three survived. When they rang they asked if we would like to put two in this time....I said yes of course!

On 7th March they rang and said we wouldn't be doing a transfer today as there were no clear two front runners in our embryos and they wanted to get them to day 5. This was good news as it meant they were progressing well and they wanted to put the best two in. So we were penciled in for the 9th March. 

Transfer day! 9th March 2019.
We had two clear front runners now and they told us the gradings, we had a 5AB and a 3BB and put them both back in. We went in the morning, and then literally two hours later we were on a train to Manchester for food and drinks (no alcohol for me of course) with friends to celebrate my fella's birthday. I had such a good day laughing and eating the best food. It was the best thing we could have done as it took my mind off worrying about what to do after transfer...the do's and don'ts.

Its' all a load of bollocks the Do's and Don'ts.... Eating pineapple core and all that. 
The only advice i recommend is to keep your feet warm (keeps your womb warm), keep the blood flow going (accupuncture/walking) and laughing (this advice was from a friend who did IVF)

Here is the run down:

Day of transfer - still bloated and fat from collection. Transfer in am, Manchester Bem Brasil pm. Feeling really full. Ate a lot!

1dp5dt - kept waking up last night/early morn. Had about three wee’s. However I was out yesterday and drank a lot of liquid. Had salty food. And was still very bloated and gassy. Today I feel fairly normal. Pain on left side of lower back in pm.

2dp5dt - Accupuncture today. Woke up at 3:30am for a wee. Loose bowels 7am. Loose bowels again midday. Pain in lower left hand side of back.

3dp5dt - feel very normal. Work up early for a wee again. Loose bowels again. 

4dp5dt - decided i should test to check my trigger is out...bfp. faint line on frer. Think it might be trigger leaving as it’s 11days since trigger. Had that feeling that af was due this afternoon, like a dull ache...then yellow cm when wiping in Evening. sore boobs when touched. 

5dp5dt - bfp. awake between 1am-4am again. Had a wee. Can’t sleep. Cloudy wee with really faint line on frer again. (12 days past trigger) 7am wee. Sore boobs. Feeling full and period like in the afternoon again

6dp5dt - fri - BFP! This cant still be trigger!!

Sore boobs. 

7dp5dt - sat - BFP. Still sore boobs. Feel slightly nauseous sometimes...and having weird cramps/belly twinges.

Told our parents and close friends as they all know when we had transfer. Diarrhoea.

Afternoon nap. 

8dp5dt - sun 17th March- BFP. starving when I woke up, went out for lunch, it was awful. Came home and had diarrhoea. Had no tea and went to bed around 9. Really bloated 

9dp5dt - mon - BFP. Woke up with horrendous trapped wind in back and chest and belly. Had a headache most of the day. Little half hour nap when I got home. Early night 8pm. No sore boobs but I have also taken two paracetamol today. Nausea every so often.

10dp5dt - tues - awaiting more tests in the post. Hopefully will arrive today. Otd is tomorrow. Then need to ring clinic and let them know. Nausea. 

11dp5dt - OTD - BFP (2-3wks) on digi.

Going to clinic to get more meds. Scan booked for April 9th at 8am. Cramps and aches today. 

12dp - BFP Line is darker then control line :) shooting pains in Groin sometimes. Feeling bloated still but not as gassy. Gone off cups of tea. 

Clearblue digi 

17th March = 1-2 wks (8dpt)

20th March = 2-3 wks (11dpt)

27th March = 3+ wks (18dpt)

 

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On the 25th March i was supposed to be going to Cyprus to look at my potential wedding venue but because i got my BFP i didn't risk it. I didn't need a repeat of last year.  However they kindly face-timed me and the venue is so special! I cant wait for that.

My 7 week viability scan was booked for April 9th,  a week and a half before i got made redundant (great timing huh!) - it wasn't just me it was the whole of my team. And then at 6wks4days i had a brown blood bleed on my pantyliner. They told me it's normal and not to worry. However the day before my scan i had more blood, it was watery but heavier. the clinic let me come in because it got heavier and i had back ache. 

I picked my fella up and we drove quietly to the clinic, he kept saying not to worry and it would be fine but i just knew it was too much blood to be 'normal'. I told the nurse the bloody details and she lay me down on the bed to have the scan. Rick was behind the curtain. She popped wanda in and did a bit of rooting. I couldn't read her expression. Then she went "oh!, would you come inside" to my fella. Then said "what do you see there?" and he said, "A baby?" ....then, "two?"

She nodded and smiled but she looked shocked too. 

I couldn't help it...i said "Fuck off!" and then laughed out of pure joy whe she turned the screen to show me. I was so so shocked.

But yes we had two babies in there.....and a big blood clot. 

She warned us that i had to have a little time off work (2 weeks) and to take it easy because if this blood clot came out all at once it could take a baby or both with it. So we went home, absolutely over the moon but very cautious.

Twins!

Crazy shit.

Around 5 days later i had another big bleed. I went into the clinic again as i had passed some clotsbut thankfully they were still in there. The clot had reduced a little though. We got to see their heart beats too. 

When we made it to 12 weeks we announced it to everyone. 

I am now 33+2, and its' not been plain sailing, we've had a few hurdles but for the most of it, it's been a great pregnancy. We're having a boy and a girl, the girl had a bit more fluid on her brain than normal but this has corrected itself. But now she is measuring small, and is 21% below her brother. He is around 4lb and she is around 3lb.

I go for a specialist scan tomorrow, if he thinks she is ok to stay in, we have our c-section scheduled for 28th October 2019 (mine and Ricks 10 year anniversary)

However if they feel she isn't getting the nutrients she needs we may have two babies in the world very soon. 

For anyone who has read my story from the start, thanks for sticking with me. And for those who happen to fall upon it on their IVF journey, I wish you the best of luck and your time will come, just keep going. 

Wish me luck for my birth, i pray i have healthy babies. I am so nervous....and have no idea what to do when they arrive haha...but i'm sure that will be another future blog.

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IVF Update: No more Free NHS rounds left.

Hi Again,

I am almost at the end of the TWW. I am 9dp5dt and this morning i had another BFN. I know it's over. My OTD (Official Test Date) is actually Tues 13th (in 2 days time) but I've now had 3 BFNs in a row and even with my ectopic i had had a positive test by this point.

The worst bit about this now is that i've had a chemical, an ectopic and then this one that clearly didn't even get close. So i have to question my god damn womb. Whats the deal? Why you not let these embryos settle in? Is it the eggs? We know sperm is an issue but were doing ICSI so surely they are finding the best ones...

And now we don't have anymore free NHS goes. We have to find the funds to try again.

ACCESS FERTILITY
My goal for our next go is to get a decent amount fertilised and to day 5. We need frosties. Access fertility offer Multi-cycles and refund cycles. But they don't seem to be a finance loan company, i think they just bulk the whole IVF rounds into a package so you don't have to worry about paying as you go or being lumped with a massive bill.
Look like we are going to need to get a loan.

I feel so empty at the moment, i have no emotions, i'm just fed up of waiting for my time.

Why scaling down your social is really important

It's natural to compare yourself to others. We all do it, in pretty much every part of our lives. Jealousy is also normal. However, we shouldn't base our happiness on other peoples successes. And we shouldnt "act" on jelousy, there's no need. If you feel bitter you need to work on changing your mindset and changing things you are unhappy about. OR unfollow/block whatever upsets you.

How many times have you scrolled through facebook and seen "happy families" or nights out with champers, pictures of peoples new cars/houses etc etc and felt unhappy? C'mon i think we have all done it. But everyone only puts their "best life" or "best self" online.

Back in the day (yes i sound old but i'm only 32!) we didn't have social media,  so no one knew what Tom, Dick and Harry from high school were up to in life unless you were close friends or bumped into them in town, and even then they would only tell you their successes. :)

I do it myself, i only post things i like, or my house when its clean...and i can barely make myself post a selfie that isn't filtered. I think i'm addicted to snapchat filters because the camera never lies and it shows my wrinkles or chubby cheeks. But honestly, i don't want to live like this anymore.

In November i'm going to try and scale down how much time i spend on social media. So i'm going to try and do facebook only 1/2 an hour a day (and try not to use it all if i can) and only an hour on instagram (because this isn't as triggering as facebook - especially when i unfollow a load of useless celeb accounts)

I'm going to embrace my insecurities and just enjoy life. I want to do some creative projects, and start prepping for Christmas. Also the house needs a bit of TLC.

Wish me luck for #NOSOCIALNOVEMBER

IVF Update - Dealing with an Ectopic!

Hi Guys!! I am back! I haven't blogged for ages so i really wanted to do an update.

I can't believe that its been over a year since i spoke on here about my ivf. After my chemical back in July 17, we had to wait 3 months to try again. Then when the time came around the BMI limit had gone down to 29 (it used to be 30). So I couldn't start straight away i had to wait a few more months to get my weight down (annoying!)

So in April 2018 i started again, picked up my injections (short protocol this time) and we managed to get 14 eggs out of the 22 follicles we had. 10 were mature enough to inseminate (we're still doing ICSI) - 4 eggs fertilised and 2 made it to freeze! I've never done a fresh cycle due to the risk of OHSS.

FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) was scheduled for June, my transfer date was 18th June and we transferred 1 embryo. Everything seemed perfect, my lining was 14mm, but my transfer hurt like hell ( i won't be seeing that doc again thats for sure!). It didn't hurt at all the time before, so it kinda upset me, and i have mentioned it to my clinic. He really dug into me, i could feel him poking around!!

I got my first positive, a really faint line on 26th June, 8DPT (left) It was amazing, however i've seen a faint line before, on my last transfer, so i didn't want to get too excited. But my god, i was wishing the day away so i could test again the next day.

I think it's best to show you my notes:

Day of Transfer: Feeling fine, transfer did hurt a bit. Embryo is 5 day blasto and was starting to hatch. Loose bowels in afternoon. 

1dpt - loose bowels in the morning, tired. Bloated but think it’s trapped wind.

2dp5dt - loose bowels again, woke up feeling dehydrated, slight headache. Bit of a sore throat and then got a little bit of brown spotting when I wiped this morning. Might be from transfer though. Breathlessness. Went home from work at midday as I was freezing and shivery. Slept for an hour n half then was boiling. Feeling better by afternoon. Lower back pain all day.

3dpt - slight runny nose in the morning. dull aching in lower right abdomen and back. Twinges on right hand side. Sore throat when swallowing. Light Brown spotting.

4dp5dt - woke feeling fresh and good. No aches or twinges yet. 

5dp - bfn. Too early to test but wanted to anyway. Woke up hungry. Feel mostly normal today, but tired. Feel a bit full in lower stomach but could be nothing.

6dp5dt - BFN. Boobs hurt only when I press them and also when not got a bra on. A bit bloated but gassy.

7dp - BFN on internet cheapie. Boobs a bit sore, feel a bit bloated and lower back pain, kinda like af.

8dp5dt - BFP on first response but very very faint line. BFN on internet cheapie. Feel bloated and full but otherwise fine. Did a walk after work and have backache, maybe I over did it. 31 degrees outside today!

9dp - BFP! Still fainter than control line but clearly there. Had bad back pain, tiny bit of brown cm. felt bloated. Shooting pain left boob at night 

10dp5dt - BFP!! For deffo, did a digital that also said pregnant 1-2 weeks. Eeek. Spotting brown blood but only when I wipe every so often. 

11dp5dt - 29/06/18 - BFP on official test date. Woohoo. Still spotting brown blood. Hospital didn’t take my blood they just gave me more meds (progesterone and fragmin). Scan is booked for July 17th. Sore boobs when pressed. 

We were flying out to Cyprus for a friends wedding on the 1st July. So i rang the clinic on Official Test Date and let them know it was positive and had to go straight in that day (it was a Friday and we flew on Sunday) to pick up more Progesterone injections and my letter for the airport. I had a bit of brown blood when i wiped that day but forgot to mention it to them, i had googled and thought it was just implantation. However it got worse the day we flew...

12dp - still bfp. Almost matches control line. Still getting dark brown spotting

13dp5dt - didn’t do a test today, might take some on holiday. We go to cyprus today. Had more blood today than ever since bfp. Really worried me so bought tests at airport. 

14dp5dt - bfp still, thank god. Still not as dark as control line but I’m using boots test this time. Officially I’m 4wks 6days.

15dp - not bleeding today apart from very very little when wiping 

16dp5dt - Wednesday - bfp. Darker then Monday but a lot of bleeding today. Boobs not hurting as much. Very emotional. 

17dp - boobs not sore, spotting red blood, wearing a pad. cramps but nothing like af.

18dp5dt - spotting bright red again. Wearing pad. Wedding day (friends wedding day)

19dp - sat - red blood. 

This was the day, that halfway through the England match i felt so so uncomfortable that i couldn't sit still. I was wearing a pad because when i was wiping i had blood. I went up to the hotel room and went to the loo, i had belly ache so i wondered if this was why i felt achy and uncomfortable. So i went back down after the match and we went for tea, but i felt really bloated and uncomfortable again so as soon as dinner was finished i went up to the room and we chilled out and i tried to sleep. However i could get comfy, my left hand side hurt so bad. I told rick that since 16 dpt i hadn't "felt" pregnant, and theres something wrong. I just knew it. I googled Ectopic and had a feeling it was that. 

Going to Hospital
We went to the local Cypriot Doctor and they got us a taxi to the hospital as they couldn't do scans. During the scan the doctor said that he could see fluid outside of the womb and couldn't see anything in the womb yet but that was normal due to how many weeks i was. But the fluid wasn't normal. They had to admit me because it was a suspected Ectopic and its so dangerous. So around 2am i was in a bed, and had to kiss rick goodbye till the next day, and yes we both cried...

Because the next day was a Sunday they didn't have any doctors in (crazy i know!) so it was a nothing day of waiting around. On Monday i had another scan and i also had a blood test (which Rick had to take to a pharmacy to be tested) I was still bleeding, but filling around 2 pads a day. I was in pain but not mega pain, they gave me Paracetemol and they seemed surprised my pain wasn't worse. They started to wonder if it was just early pregnancy and not ectopic. However after a few more days, my HCG was going up, as was my pain (but it wasn't constant just every so often i felt uncomfortable, but i was also lying on my back or sitting on a bed all day! On the scan nothing was showing in the womb. Finally on Thursday 12th July they decided it was Ectopic and that i either needed to have a laparoscopy and remove the baby and tube, or take a medication that would make it disappear (however this could take weeks and they would not discharge me until my HCG was 0!) therefore I rang my UK clinic and we decided that the tube was already damaged and we should just remove it and get home quicker. I had now been in hospital for 6 days and was supposed to fly home on Wednesday.
On Friday 13th (my birthday) I had my ectopic removed via Laparoscopy. Probably the worst birthday ever.

The Op
Going down to the operating theatre was awful, first they shoved a pee bag thingy up my pee hole (painful for 2 seconds) then wheeled me down, its like what you see in the films, the lights above you flashing every few seconds. then when we got to this silver room (everywhere looked metal, i had to shift myself onto another bed. They wheeled me into the operating theatre and it was freezing!!! I was shaking so bad. They asked me a few questions, like DOB and if it was my first child :(
Then they put me under.
When i woke up i was in a little room just off the theatre and they had put a heating pipe blowing hot air under my cover because i was shaking. God knows if i was like that all the way through.
I felt uncomfortable, but was glad to get back to my bed. Originally they made out that it would only take 1.5hrs, but i went down at 10am and only got back to my bed around 1:30pm. My fella was really worried.

The next day i was discharged and told to rest but also keep active, so i went down to the poolside with him so he could enjoy the pool and then later in the day we walked down to the town (really really slow) to pick up some tea. The next day we had to buy some clexane from the pharmacy and some dressings for my wounds.

Going Home
Thankfully throughout all of this, our insurance (Tesco) and the hospital we're great. I had forgot my European Health Insurance Card, and the hospital helped me get another one. The insurance sorted everything with the hospital and the only thing we lost out on was the cost of the Taxi's to and from the hospital. If we had realised  that i was going to be in that long we would have hired a car.

Emotionally
Well, emotionally it was tough but i always knew it wasn't the end of the road for us so i never let these things get me down. I know we have more chances. We have 1 more egg from our free NHS cycles, and we are transferring it on 2nd November 2018. If this doesn't work then yes, its a big set back but we will find the money to have another round. I'm determined.

If you have been through this, or are currently going through this, feel free to message me on instagram sarah_icsi_ivf  or on here in the comments :)