ICSI IVF - First round of ICSI and no eggs fertilised!!

I got the call to say that none of our eggs fertilised and it was the most heartbreaking thing i've ever experienced. I literally can't explain the disappointment. The worst thing was, the embryologist was baffled as to why it hadn't worked! She said the sperm and eggs were both good quality..In fact, my eggs had survived the ordeal! They had activated with the presence of the sperm, they just hadn't got to the fertilisation stage. So so sad.

I know you shouldn't expect it to work first time but you just do. It's one of them things, they tell you to stay positive and think positive (because non positive thoughts can affect the process apparently!) but then you build it up in your head and when it goes wrong its the worst feeling, its crushing. You both feel like total failures. We spent most of Friday crying and being generally miserable.

I'd like to say i will be more cautious with my feelings and expectations next time, but because our scenario is so-called 'rare' i am optimistic it will work next time. IT HAS TOO!

I refuse to believe i won't be a mum one day. I really want to experience pregnancy.
There are so many people on facebook and instagram posting Halloween pictures of their babies and its so frustrating. Obviously they are free to do that and when i have a child i will do the same, but it still doesn't make it any easier.

I thought i'd share my timeline and meds:

Day 1: Period arrived, I started Bureselin 0.5mg injections for 3 weeks to shut down my system.
Day 21: Had a scan to check my womb lining was ready, and it was. I carried on taking Bureselin but also started Menopur 150mg the next day to stimulate the ovaries.
Day 8 of stims (friday): Had a scan to check the progress of my follicles. I had 7 on each side measuring around 10mm-13mm. And lots of little ones around them.
Day 11 (Mon): Had another scan and i had 24 follicles(eggs) measuring between 10mm-15mm, i had one at 19mm.
Day 13 (Wed): Had another scan and i still had 24 follicles(eggs) measuring between 10mm-21mm
I got given my trigger injection Ovitrelle 250mg, and took it at 8:15pm. Retrieval is in 36 hours!
Day 15 (Fri): Egg Collection day! 8:15am i went into theatre to be put to sleep. They retrieved 9 eggs, 6 were mature enough to inject with sperm. I went home, i was sick (i drank to soon after waking up) and felt abit swolen but generally in a good mood.
Saturday: Got the call that none of our eggs fertilised.

I am taking Fragmin, to thin my blood as they classed me as having mild OHSS, I also have a tablet to help the syndrome. I still need to take this injection till i have my period.

I have an appointment on 16th November with my Fertility Doctor to find out when we can start again and get some feedback.

Apparently because we didn't get fertilisation and a transfer it isn't classed as 'a go' therefore we still have two more goes at this. Please keep your fingers crossed for us.

Has anyone else been through this? Please comment if you have.

5 Things: August 2016

01: Countdown to ICSI IVF

Hey Guys, We are almost there!!
Seriously its about a month till we start our IVF journey and I cannot wait. Give me those injections!
Actually i am pretty nervous about having to do injections but it has to be done and it'll be worth it in the end. Bring it on!

I am around 6lbs off target. I really need to smash this in the next few weeks. The outfit to the left is from Tesco. Yup, these jeans are so nice! The top i've had for a while but barely worn it. I had some lovely compliments so it's all good.

02: Painting!

I've decided to get back into painting. I really need to order some more acrylics though as i am running low.
As you can see I only have greens and browns and blues at the moment haha.

Nudity Alert!

It's now on my landing wall. The painting above it is actually off a car boot sale and i got it for £1. What a bargain huh?!


03: Decking my garden.

Whilst it's been summer, we decided to get started on the back garden. We purchased our decking and a good friend has been installing it for us.

We need to finish off the front, and paint it, also the fences need painting. I really need the sun to come back!! We need to hire a skip to put the concrete in and then we will sort the rest of the garden out with astro turf and a path.

04: My Mum's Birthday

For my mums birthday at the beginning of August we went to the Red Doors Bistro in Wigan so here is my little review.
I knew this little bistro is here because there is a Hairdressers above it that i have been too. It's always been quiet when i have passed through the Bistro and this day wasn't different.

I got this via Groupon, it was £19 for Afternoon tea for 2 people.

We arrived around 5 or 10 mins early, and was asked to come back at exactly 12pm as that is when they open and they weren't ready for us. The was my only issue with the day really. I thought it was kinda rude to ask us to come back, we literally had to hang around on the street so they could mop and put candles out!

When we got in there and she had taken our orders (My aunt and sister also had afternoon tea but it wasn't via Groupon) My sister is a vegetarian and so she changed that sandwiches for them. It was lovely. I was a little disappointed the tea wasn't refillable.  But other than that the meal was nice. Personally wouldn't have chosen the sandwiches provided. (I'm a traditionalist) but the little cup of soup was a cute touch!

The desserts were SO SO nice :)

05: BACONNAISE  !!!

Need i say more?? This beauty was £2.50 from Morrisons!! You must buy it, it's the best on chips/burgers. I love this stuff because of Almost Famous. And if you don't know what that is then you must google it! (Psst! its a restaurant in Manchester)

My IVF Journey so far.

So i thought i'd update a little bit on where we are up to with our IVF journey.

I had an appointment in June to check on my weight loss progress and by that point i was 2lb off getting my 1and a half stone award at Slimming world. The doctor was really happy and worked out my BMI was 31. (it has to be 30 to start) But he said he would check where we are on the waiting list and if we are near the top he will start us.
It turns out we reached our 6 month wait on the 15th June!! Woop Woop, so we can now start.

It's not quick though, our next appointment is on the 25th July (bearing in mind this is 3.5 weeks after we was told we can start) So now i'm just waiting for this appointment.....I am so impatient i hate waiting!! It's a Pre-treatment appointment. I have no idea what happens but i hope we can actually start and i get my meds/injections etc.

Our doctor in the local paper:

Mumford and Sons // BST Hyde Park - 8th July 2016

One of my presents for my 30th was to go and see Mumford and Sons live. This has been on my bucket list for a few years. I remember searching for their tour dates a while back and realising i had just missed a UK tour, i was so gutted. So gutted. So when i saw that the only UK 'thing' they were doing this year was the Barclaycard British Summertime Festival in Hyde park I knew I HAD to go. Especially as it was in my birthday month! It was totally meant to be.

We stayed in an apartment on Edgeware Road, which was only 5/10 mins away from Marble Arch/ Hyde Park. Perfect location. I found it on Air BNB - HERE
The neighbours were quite noisy till like 2:30am! But other than that it was okay.

 Wine for the journey.

I took quite a few more photo's but didn't want to flood the blog with them.
I really really enjoyed myself. xx