Our Paid round of IVF

When our last NHS round failed i felt down. Why was this taking so long to work? Why could every else get pregnant so easily? I started to even resent the people that it worked first time for...and that was wrong but i was so fed up. Yet, it never entered my head to give up. I was all ready to start the process again...i hate waiting.

I knew we would now have to get a loan to fulfill our dreams. But luckily for us my fella's parents had the money set to one side and offered to pay for us. How amazing! 

We decided to check out Access Fertility as they have package deals and i had heard good things about them. We decided to do the 3 rounds, 50% refund programme. This was £10,800, which actually is a great deal considering a normal round can cost between £4-6k. We had to pay for the Meds ourselves, so that was probably around £900 for the first round (fresh)

I will do a run down of the process and things i did differently this round.

Supplements I have been taking for Egg Quality and overall IVF support

• Folic Acid (5mg)
• Collagen Complex with Hylauric Acid (recommended by Acupuncturist to support womb and keep it moist)
• CoQ10
• Levothyroxine 75mg (Prescribed for my Thyroid Antibodies)
• DHEA 75mg per day
• High Dose of Vit D

I also did accupuncture. I did around 2 sessions before collection, then a session before and after transfer.

Let's begin!

When our funding got approved, we could pretty much start on my next period. I got my meds from our clinic as they were cheaper then going to ASDA. I chose to take Lubion injections instead of pessaries as i really struggled with the pessaries (they are so messy) and i was always conscious i wasn't getting enough of the dose. 

The Stimming part of my cycle was pretty much like any other round. It went quick, and i responded well. I always seem to get a decent amount of follicles on each ovary, on my first scan they were between 9mm and 13mm with a random 16mm! I think i averaged around 16 on each side from what i can remember. after next couple of scans i was told to trigger on Saturday 2nd March at 10:30pm (this night i was throwing a surprise party for my fella's 40th! so i had to do it in the toilets) 

When we were talking about egg collection they suggested i may need to freeze all like i had done previously but i stressed how much i didn't want to do that this time and i really wanted to do a fresh transfer. She said as long as they don't get more than 20 eggs out then i can do a fresh. 

On collection day (Monday 4th March 10:30am) they got around 11 eggs. I was okay about that, it was average for us. I now just had to wait to see how many fertilised - this was the worrying stage. 

On the 5th March we got told that 3 had fertilised. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst. We had to pray all three survived. When they rang they asked if we would like to put two in this time....I said yes of course!

On 7th March they rang and said we wouldn't be doing a transfer today as there were no clear two front runners in our embryos and they wanted to get them to day 5. This was good news as it meant they were progressing well and they wanted to put the best two in. So we were penciled in for the 9th March. 

Transfer day! 9th March 2019.
We had two clear front runners now and they told us the gradings, we had a 5AB and a 3BB and put them both back in. We went in the morning, and then literally two hours later we were on a train to Manchester for food and drinks (no alcohol for me of course) with friends to celebrate my fella's birthday. I had such a good day laughing and eating the best food. It was the best thing we could have done as it took my mind off worrying about what to do after transfer...the do's and don'ts.

Its' all a load of bollocks the Do's and Don'ts.... Eating pineapple core and all that. 
The only advice i recommend is to keep your feet warm (keeps your womb warm), keep the blood flow going (accupuncture/walking) and laughing (this advice was from a friend who did IVF)

Here is the run down:

Day of transfer - still bloated and fat from collection. Transfer in am, Manchester Bem Brasil pm. Feeling really full. Ate a lot!

1dp5dt - kept waking up last night/early morn. Had about three wee’s. However I was out yesterday and drank a lot of liquid. Had salty food. And was still very bloated and gassy. Today I feel fairly normal. Pain on left side of lower back in pm.

2dp5dt - Accupuncture today. Woke up at 3:30am for a wee. Loose bowels 7am. Loose bowels again midday. Pain in lower left hand side of back.

3dp5dt - feel very normal. Work up early for a wee again. Loose bowels again. 

4dp5dt - decided i should test to check my trigger is out...bfp. faint line on frer. Think it might be trigger leaving as it’s 11days since trigger. Had that feeling that af was due this afternoon, like a dull ache...then yellow cm when wiping in Evening. sore boobs when touched. 

5dp5dt - bfp. awake between 1am-4am again. Had a wee. Can’t sleep. Cloudy wee with really faint line on frer again. (12 days past trigger) 7am wee. Sore boobs. Feeling full and period like in the afternoon again

6dp5dt - fri - BFP! This cant still be trigger!!

Sore boobs. 

7dp5dt - sat - BFP. Still sore boobs. Feel slightly nauseous sometimes...and having weird cramps/belly twinges.

Told our parents and close friends as they all know when we had transfer. Diarrhoea.

Afternoon nap. 

8dp5dt - sun 17th March- BFP. starving when I woke up, went out for lunch, it was awful. Came home and had diarrhoea. Had no tea and went to bed around 9. Really bloated 

9dp5dt - mon - BFP. Woke up with horrendous trapped wind in back and chest and belly. Had a headache most of the day. Little half hour nap when I got home. Early night 8pm. No sore boobs but I have also taken two paracetamol today. Nausea every so often.

10dp5dt - tues - awaiting more tests in the post. Hopefully will arrive today. Otd is tomorrow. Then need to ring clinic and let them know. Nausea. 

11dp5dt - OTD - BFP (2-3wks) on digi.

Going to clinic to get more meds. Scan booked for April 9th at 8am. Cramps and aches today. 

12dp - BFP Line is darker then control line :) shooting pains in Groin sometimes. Feeling bloated still but not as gassy. Gone off cups of tea. 

Clearblue digi 

17th March = 1-2 wks (8dpt)

20th March = 2-3 wks (11dpt)

27th March = 3+ wks (18dpt)

 

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On the 25th March i was supposed to be going to Cyprus to look at my potential wedding venue but because i got my BFP i didn't risk it. I didn't need a repeat of last year.  However they kindly face-timed me and the venue is so special! I cant wait for that.

My 7 week viability scan was booked for April 9th,  a week and a half before i got made redundant (great timing huh!) - it wasn't just me it was the whole of my team. And then at 6wks4days i had a brown blood bleed on my pantyliner. They told me it's normal and not to worry. However the day before my scan i had more blood, it was watery but heavier. the clinic let me come in because it got heavier and i had back ache. 

I picked my fella up and we drove quietly to the clinic, he kept saying not to worry and it would be fine but i just knew it was too much blood to be 'normal'. I told the nurse the bloody details and she lay me down on the bed to have the scan. Rick was behind the curtain. She popped wanda in and did a bit of rooting. I couldn't read her expression. Then she went "oh!, would you come inside" to my fella. Then said "what do you see there?" and he said, "A baby?" ....then, "two?"

She nodded and smiled but she looked shocked too. 

I couldn't help it...i said "Fuck off!" and then laughed out of pure joy whe she turned the screen to show me. I was so so shocked.

But yes we had two babies in there.....and a big blood clot. 

She warned us that i had to have a little time off work (2 weeks) and to take it easy because if this blood clot came out all at once it could take a baby or both with it. So we went home, absolutely over the moon but very cautious.

Twins!

Crazy shit.

Around 5 days later i had another big bleed. I went into the clinic again as i had passed some clotsbut thankfully they were still in there. The clot had reduced a little though. We got to see their heart beats too. 

When we made it to 12 weeks we announced it to everyone. 

I am now 33+2, and its' not been plain sailing, we've had a few hurdles but for the most of it, it's been a great pregnancy. We're having a boy and a girl, the girl had a bit more fluid on her brain than normal but this has corrected itself. But now she is measuring small, and is 21% below her brother. He is around 4lb and she is around 3lb.

I go for a specialist scan tomorrow, if he thinks she is ok to stay in, we have our c-section scheduled for 28th October 2019 (mine and Ricks 10 year anniversary)

However if they feel she isn't getting the nutrients she needs we may have two babies in the world very soon. 

For anyone who has read my story from the start, thanks for sticking with me. And for those who happen to fall upon it on their IVF journey, I wish you the best of luck and your time will come, just keep going. 

Wish me luck for my birth, i pray i have healthy babies. I am so nervous....and have no idea what to do when they arrive haha...but i'm sure that will be another future blog.

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IVF Update: No more Free NHS rounds left.

Hi Again,

I am almost at the end of the TWW. I am 9dp5dt and this morning i had another BFN. I know it's over. My OTD (Official Test Date) is actually Tues 13th (in 2 days time) but I've now had 3 BFNs in a row and even with my ectopic i had had a positive test by this point.

The worst bit about this now is that i've had a chemical, an ectopic and then this one that clearly didn't even get close. So i have to question my god damn womb. Whats the deal? Why you not let these embryos settle in? Is it the eggs? We know sperm is an issue but were doing ICSI so surely they are finding the best ones...

And now we don't have anymore free NHS goes. We have to find the funds to try again.

ACCESS FERTILITY
My goal for our next go is to get a decent amount fertilised and to day 5. We need frosties. Access fertility offer Multi-cycles and refund cycles. But they don't seem to be a finance loan company, i think they just bulk the whole IVF rounds into a package so you don't have to worry about paying as you go or being lumped with a massive bill.
Look like we are going to need to get a loan.

I feel so empty at the moment, i have no emotions, i'm just fed up of waiting for my time.

IVF Update - Dealing with an Ectopic!

Hi Guys!! I am back! I haven't blogged for ages so i really wanted to do an update.

I can't believe that its been over a year since i spoke on here about my ivf. After my chemical back in July 17, we had to wait 3 months to try again. Then when the time came around the BMI limit had gone down to 29 (it used to be 30). So I couldn't start straight away i had to wait a few more months to get my weight down (annoying!)

So in April 2018 i started again, picked up my injections (short protocol this time) and we managed to get 14 eggs out of the 22 follicles we had. 10 were mature enough to inseminate (we're still doing ICSI) - 4 eggs fertilised and 2 made it to freeze! I've never done a fresh cycle due to the risk of OHSS.

FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) was scheduled for June, my transfer date was 18th June and we transferred 1 embryo. Everything seemed perfect, my lining was 14mm, but my transfer hurt like hell ( i won't be seeing that doc again thats for sure!). It didn't hurt at all the time before, so it kinda upset me, and i have mentioned it to my clinic. He really dug into me, i could feel him poking around!!

I got my first positive, a really faint line on 26th June, 8DPT (left) It was amazing, however i've seen a faint line before, on my last transfer, so i didn't want to get too excited. But my god, i was wishing the day away so i could test again the next day.

I think it's best to show you my notes:

Day of Transfer: Feeling fine, transfer did hurt a bit. Embryo is 5 day blasto and was starting to hatch. Loose bowels in afternoon. 

1dpt - loose bowels in the morning, tired. Bloated but think it’s trapped wind.

2dp5dt - loose bowels again, woke up feeling dehydrated, slight headache. Bit of a sore throat and then got a little bit of brown spotting when I wiped this morning. Might be from transfer though. Breathlessness. Went home from work at midday as I was freezing and shivery. Slept for an hour n half then was boiling. Feeling better by afternoon. Lower back pain all day.

3dpt - slight runny nose in the morning. dull aching in lower right abdomen and back. Twinges on right hand side. Sore throat when swallowing. Light Brown spotting.

4dp5dt - woke feeling fresh and good. No aches or twinges yet. 

5dp - bfn. Too early to test but wanted to anyway. Woke up hungry. Feel mostly normal today, but tired. Feel a bit full in lower stomach but could be nothing.

6dp5dt - BFN. Boobs hurt only when I press them and also when not got a bra on. A bit bloated but gassy.

7dp - BFN on internet cheapie. Boobs a bit sore, feel a bit bloated and lower back pain, kinda like af.

8dp5dt - BFP on first response but very very faint line. BFN on internet cheapie. Feel bloated and full but otherwise fine. Did a walk after work and have backache, maybe I over did it. 31 degrees outside today!

9dp - BFP! Still fainter than control line but clearly there. Had bad back pain, tiny bit of brown cm. felt bloated. Shooting pain left boob at night 

10dp5dt - BFP!! For deffo, did a digital that also said pregnant 1-2 weeks. Eeek. Spotting brown blood but only when I wipe every so often. 

11dp5dt - 29/06/18 - BFP on official test date. Woohoo. Still spotting brown blood. Hospital didn’t take my blood they just gave me more meds (progesterone and fragmin). Scan is booked for July 17th. Sore boobs when pressed. 

We were flying out to Cyprus for a friends wedding on the 1st July. So i rang the clinic on Official Test Date and let them know it was positive and had to go straight in that day (it was a Friday and we flew on Sunday) to pick up more Progesterone injections and my letter for the airport. I had a bit of brown blood when i wiped that day but forgot to mention it to them, i had googled and thought it was just implantation. However it got worse the day we flew...

12dp - still bfp. Almost matches control line. Still getting dark brown spotting

13dp5dt - didn’t do a test today, might take some on holiday. We go to cyprus today. Had more blood today than ever since bfp. Really worried me so bought tests at airport. 

14dp5dt - bfp still, thank god. Still not as dark as control line but I’m using boots test this time. Officially I’m 4wks 6days.

15dp - not bleeding today apart from very very little when wiping 

16dp5dt - Wednesday - bfp. Darker then Monday but a lot of bleeding today. Boobs not hurting as much. Very emotional. 

17dp - boobs not sore, spotting red blood, wearing a pad. cramps but nothing like af.

18dp5dt - spotting bright red again. Wearing pad. Wedding day (friends wedding day)

19dp - sat - red blood. 

This was the day, that halfway through the England match i felt so so uncomfortable that i couldn't sit still. I was wearing a pad because when i was wiping i had blood. I went up to the hotel room and went to the loo, i had belly ache so i wondered if this was why i felt achy and uncomfortable. So i went back down after the match and we went for tea, but i felt really bloated and uncomfortable again so as soon as dinner was finished i went up to the room and we chilled out and i tried to sleep. However i could get comfy, my left hand side hurt so bad. I told rick that since 16 dpt i hadn't "felt" pregnant, and theres something wrong. I just knew it. I googled Ectopic and had a feeling it was that. 

Going to Hospital
We went to the local Cypriot Doctor and they got us a taxi to the hospital as they couldn't do scans. During the scan the doctor said that he could see fluid outside of the womb and couldn't see anything in the womb yet but that was normal due to how many weeks i was. But the fluid wasn't normal. They had to admit me because it was a suspected Ectopic and its so dangerous. So around 2am i was in a bed, and had to kiss rick goodbye till the next day, and yes we both cried...

Because the next day was a Sunday they didn't have any doctors in (crazy i know!) so it was a nothing day of waiting around. On Monday i had another scan and i also had a blood test (which Rick had to take to a pharmacy to be tested) I was still bleeding, but filling around 2 pads a day. I was in pain but not mega pain, they gave me Paracetemol and they seemed surprised my pain wasn't worse. They started to wonder if it was just early pregnancy and not ectopic. However after a few more days, my HCG was going up, as was my pain (but it wasn't constant just every so often i felt uncomfortable, but i was also lying on my back or sitting on a bed all day! On the scan nothing was showing in the womb. Finally on Thursday 12th July they decided it was Ectopic and that i either needed to have a laparoscopy and remove the baby and tube, or take a medication that would make it disappear (however this could take weeks and they would not discharge me until my HCG was 0!) therefore I rang my UK clinic and we decided that the tube was already damaged and we should just remove it and get home quicker. I had now been in hospital for 6 days and was supposed to fly home on Wednesday.
On Friday 13th (my birthday) I had my ectopic removed via Laparoscopy. Probably the worst birthday ever.

The Op
Going down to the operating theatre was awful, first they shoved a pee bag thingy up my pee hole (painful for 2 seconds) then wheeled me down, its like what you see in the films, the lights above you flashing every few seconds. then when we got to this silver room (everywhere looked metal, i had to shift myself onto another bed. They wheeled me into the operating theatre and it was freezing!!! I was shaking so bad. They asked me a few questions, like DOB and if it was my first child :(
Then they put me under.
When i woke up i was in a little room just off the theatre and they had put a heating pipe blowing hot air under my cover because i was shaking. God knows if i was like that all the way through.
I felt uncomfortable, but was glad to get back to my bed. Originally they made out that it would only take 1.5hrs, but i went down at 10am and only got back to my bed around 1:30pm. My fella was really worried.

The next day i was discharged and told to rest but also keep active, so i went down to the poolside with him so he could enjoy the pool and then later in the day we walked down to the town (really really slow) to pick up some tea. The next day we had to buy some clexane from the pharmacy and some dressings for my wounds.

Going Home
Thankfully throughout all of this, our insurance (Tesco) and the hospital we're great. I had forgot my European Health Insurance Card, and the hospital helped me get another one. The insurance sorted everything with the hospital and the only thing we lost out on was the cost of the Taxi's to and from the hospital. If we had realised  that i was going to be in that long we would have hired a car.

Emotionally
Well, emotionally it was tough but i always knew it wasn't the end of the road for us so i never let these things get me down. I know we have more chances. We have 1 more egg from our free NHS cycles, and we are transferring it on 2nd November 2018. If this doesn't work then yes, its a big set back but we will find the money to have another round. I'm determined.

If you have been through this, or are currently going through this, feel free to message me on instagram sarah_icsi_ivf  or on here in the comments :)

IVF Update & Haul - July 2017

01: IVF Update - BFP turned into a Chemical

When the world says "Give up", Hope whispers "Try one more time!"

Following on from my last update...I had had the endo scratch, which went fine and i had to wait for my period before start this FET round. Firstly I started taking my meds (Fragmin, Levothyroxine, Estrogen, Progynova, Folic Acid) and i had a scan around 10 days after to check the lining of my womb. I started taking my Progesterone Pessaries (ew they are messy and quite inconvient, haha) Everything was fine and they scheduled me in for my Transfer on the 13th July (my birthday)

They gave us a call on the 12th July to check we still wanted to go ahead (of course!!) and told us they were going to defrost our embryo :) and would call us back in an hour and half to let us know that it survived. We were so nervous!

After an hour i got a call. I was fearing the worst but the embryologist said it had thawed out perfectly and was a really good embryo, and it had even started to hatch. This was the best news. :)

On July 13th we got up early and drove 1.5hrs to the clinic (we were on holiday in yorkshire all week) 
They were really nice with us. I had a full bladder (as you are supposed to have one) and so i was so eager to get it done. I told the embryologist i had a tilted womb as she hadn't mentioned it and she said "Oh! Please empty your bladder then, it'll be so much harder with a full bladder" - music to my ears!

I lay on the bed with Rick next to me and then showed us our little embaby on the TV screen. It was a little beaut. 

It was a quick but careful procedure, it didn't hurt me at all and we could leave as soon as i was fully dressed afterwards. They wished us the best of luck, told me it wouldn't fall out so just treat it as any normal day but no heavy lifting for a while and she told me of a few things not too eat (pate, runny eggs etc etc)

We drove back to the cottage in Gisburn full of anticipation and hope. 

I was really offside on transfer day, and felt sick and hot the day after too. The following few days i sometimes felt bloated.
I wrote down how i was feeling each day:
2dp5dt (2 days past 5 day transfer) - Lower back ache, tired, losing my breath easy
3dp5dt - Small twinges near left ovary
4dp5dt - no notes!
5dp5dt - I had major cramps and bloating like i felt like i was going to come on my period. Feel uncomfortable sitting still. Lightheaded when missing a meal/not eating regularly.
6dp5dt - BFN (Big Fat Negative) on pregnancy test - no idea why i tested so early, slight back ache, slightly bloated.
7dp5dt - BF? Tested with a Clear Blue early response and i can see a shadow of a line, maybe an evap line?
8dp5dt - BFP!!! Very faint but definitely a line, heartburn
9dp5dt - Still a BFP but still very faint. Heartburn.
10dp5dt - BFP - Rick can clearly see the line. Heartburn, back ache.
11dp5dt - Blood Test Day at Wrightington. POSITIVE! We are pregnant - However my beta is only 22 and needs to double in the next 2 days. Heartburn, feeling bloated.
12dp5dt - didnt take a test. Wanted a break to enjoy it while i can. I google a lot about Beta's and know mine is not good so i am preparing for the worst. 
13dp5dt - BFN - Did a test and saw no line. Showed Rick and he couldn't see one either.   :(
Blood test 2.  They rang back and said my beta was 8.5 and that it was an early miscarriage (chemical pregnancy) and to stop all meds and wait to bleed. 

Very very emotional...however it a massive step compared to last time and i'm very happy to know i can get pregnant. It just wasn't our time. 
I hope this isn't something more sinister wrong like Natural Killer cells or anything, i'm hoping it just bad luck. 

I'm not gonna lie, its been a horrible week. Getting so excited whilst trying not too, seeing the two lines on a test, amazing!! And then the devastating news that it wasn't growing and wouldn't turn into our dream baby. Waiting to bleed. Starting to bleed. its horrible but yet i still feel positive and confident that it will happen for us eventually.

02: Haul Time!

Okay, so lets try and lighten the mod with a haul. When sad, shop!

I got some birthday money and had ful intentions of using it for another bottle of Estee Lauder doublewear and possibley some REN moisturiser. However, when in debenhas i happened to come across a pallette i had been eyeing up online for nearly a year. The Too Faced Sweet Peach Pallette. 

I mean come on!! Just look at it. Its soooo up my street. And smells delish. It was £39, but i had a £10 voucher so i got it for £29 :)

Whilst in Debenhams i had a smell of the Marc Jacobs Decadence and its amazing!!! So when i go away in Aug i am soooo buying that at Duty Free.

I also hit Primark whilst in town, it had to be done. The range was rather shite though, the Wigan Primark did not hit the spot this weekend. I did get a couple of things though, and i love them so much. 

Please welcome my first ever playsuit (will only ever wear this on holiday) and my first pair or 90's mules. Haha.

The playsuit is actually a size up from what i would normally buy because they didn't have my size, however i don't mind this as it feel nice and comfortable. It's black, white and khaki. £10 Primark.

I never thought i would buy a pair of these. I've seen some many vloggers/bloggers getting on this trend and i was lie "omg those are awful!" and yet here i am loving them. I really don't know what changed my mind. These were £10 Primark. They are a lovely mink/nude/grey? I'm not 100% sure what colour they are but i do love them. They have a few other colours and i was tempted by the nude but these looked good with my skin tone however the nude would have gone with every outfit. 

I also picked up these chokers and earrings for my holiday. 

When i was in London at the beginning of July, Gymshark had a pop up store and me and my sister popped in :)

I got the matching leggings and sports bra in grey. The leggings are super high waisted, and super comfy. 

 BUY HERE £40 - (the lilac top is from Tesco £8)

The below camo jacket is from Tesco and is my favourite purchase this month. It's warm even though it's not full sleeves and its casual but gives a little bit of something extra to an outfit. I think it was £15 in the sale. 

5 Things: May 2017

It's been a while so i think we need an update, some pretty big things have happened recently...

01. IVF Update

We have done a full round of IVF since i last posted on here, thats crazy isn't it! So i bet your wondering why i haven't posted anything,? Surely id have something to say?!? Well i do, but It's ridiculous how bad i am at updating my blog. :( I want to be better and i promise to try harder, pinky promise.

The injections weren't too bad this time! Thats the first thing :) I think i am used to them now. I was on 3 this time, I was on Merional for my stims, as well as Fragmin (blood thinner) ad then cerotide after 5 days to stop my ovaries ovulating. I reacted to the stims well, I had more follies on one ovary (11) than the other (7) but they were all growing at the same rate (which didn't happen last time) so that was great.
I had a scan on a Wednesday and they were planning for my collection to be on the Friday but my follicles were not big enough (between 13mm-17mm and only 2 at 18mm) and so i had to go back on the Friday and was told my collection would be Monday. Because of this my trigger was Buserelin and i took it on the Saturday night.

At my Friday scan more follicles had appeared and I had around 25/30 follicles if not more (my memory is hazy) so the nurse told me i wouldn't be able to have a fresh transfer. This basically means that when they take my eggs out and fertilise them they won't put them back in right now. They will be frozen and I will have to wait 3 months to put them back in.

Although this was gutting I understood the reasons why because by Sunday my lower stomach was so swollen and and i felt so full, i kept running to the bathroom needing a wee because it was pushing on my bladder. I was so swollen and felt sick.

We also had a call on the Friday afternoon to say that the chemical hadn't arrived at Knutsford and Dr Harris was going mad about it. They have had 3 months to prep for this!!!
I was mad, but I am quite laid back so I just got on with it because it isn't something i could change and I just hoped everything would be okay. The nurse said they would try their best to get he chemical to Knutsford by Monday morning.

On collection day I was pacing the room because it was uncomfortable to sit down. I couldn't wait to get these eggs out! The chemical hadn't arrived yet...I was nervous.

We got 12 Eggs, and the chemical did arrive but it was un-usable! It had been 'open' for 5 weeks beforehand. So this was it, we were on our own and hoping we got fertilisation.

I felt fine on the drive home and relaxed all day. But on Tuesday morning i was anxious about the call...

By 10am Tuesday, We had it confirmed that we had 4 fertilised Embryo's :)

I rang for an update 3 days later and were told all 4 had progressed to the next stage, 1 was good quality and 3 were average quality. We had to prey they would reach blastocyst stage.

By the following Monday we were told only 1 had reached the early blasto stage and had been frozen. WE GOT ONE!

So now we wait 3 months (3 bleeds) before we can put it back in. However its not all sunshine and happy feelings, oh no. On the day before we put it back in it has to be thawed an it has to develop overnight. If it doesn't develop it won't be able to go back in and we are back to square one...and we will only find out on the morning of transfer. How sickening! I really really need to google the shit out of FET (Frozen Embryo Transfers)

It's a crazy, emotional and long drawn out process. But hopefully it will result in something amazing.


02: Finding out my Mum has Cancer

This happened during my IVF treatment, and it happened very quickly!
My mum informed me she was seeing a doctor as she had been bleeding irregularly. The GP immediately referred her for a scan of her womb. When they did the scan, her womb lining was double what it should be and the nurse told her they wanted to take a biopsy there and then.
After they took it they sat her down and basically told her they thought it was Cancer but they would send it off to be tested straight away and let her know for definite. I mean that's how quick it was, how crazy!

She told us all and we prepared for the worst. Now this sounds silly but i wasn't worried. I don't know why but i just kept thinking, she's too young to die, there so many things we still have to do together, theres no way this is the end! And i literally didn't worry. I was so calm.

me, my sister Katie, my cousin Hayley and my Mum <3

Weird huh! The Monday i got my results that 1 egg had reached Blasto and been frozen was the day i went with my mum and dad to get her results and they confirmed she did indeed have Cancer.

She had Stage 1a Cancer in her womb.

I honestly felt relieved. Stage 1! So Lucky. Obviously there's still risk it might have spread but stage 1 is the best you can hope for in this scenario. It's been caught so early.

8 days later she had a hysterectomy.

As i am writing this she is sat on the couch recovering, it's been just over a week since her Op.

We will find out in a few weeks if she needs any further treatment (if it's likely to have spread)

Keep your fingers crossed for us!


03: Not sure how to follow that!...Re-Decorating!

We recently purchased a new sofa from DFS. It's the Dynamic Sofa (see below) but it hasn't arrived yet, it will take 10 weeks to be made and delivered. I really really cannot wait for it!! It's a pale grey, fabric, recliner sofa. I swear our sofa now is so uncomfortable, I just cant describe how bad it is. To be fair to it though we got it for a bargain and its actually from Canada. When we bought our house a friend of the family was selling his girlfriends sofa. She had shipped all her furniture from Canada to here to live with him. Obvs it didn't all fit in his house so this was to be sold. It was a three seater, a two seater, an armchair and a pouffe all for £120!! Bargain. It has served us well over the past 4 years but now its time to go!

Roll on July when this beaut arrives...

I love recliners, I always have my feet up at home so this sofa is ideal. My mum has one and i just love going to hers and putting my feet up (its the small things in life eh!)

Obviously this means i need to redecorate my living room to match it. Rick isn't too impressed but to be fair its been the same for 4 years now so we deserve a refresh.
The wallpaper above (from Wilko's) is the one i am going to buy because its such a nice colour, the picture doesn't do it justice. In real life its gorgeous!..and the right kind of pale grey colour, it's textured and a bit glittery.

I have also seen a mirror in BnM's that i really want and a rug in Wilko's that i want as it is super comfy to walk on. It is however £60 and i don't think Rick will let me buy that just yet, that money could be spent elsewhere (like the garden).

Mirror with bevelled edges, £20!!

I will be doing a before and after of this room to show you :) I haven't actually purchased anything yet apart from the sofa though so it won't be anytime soon. I think I will show you my pinterest board for it though soon.

04: Beauty Haul and Wishlist.


I love a good beauty haul, my only problem is everything i like is pricey! Like I really really want the Anastasia Beverly Hills: Modern Renaissance Palette but its around £40 and i just can't justify it.

I bought 3 palettes from Make up Revolution a couple of moths ago that are dupes for Too Faced. I am actually really liking them, they were cheap and are hella pigmented and long wearing so it seems silly to pay loads of money just for a name. For some reason though i think ABH Modern Renaissance Palette would be worth it. gahhhh I wish i had it so much!

Onto the things i recently bought:

Alert! Beauty Haul!...small beauty haul! :)

The Ordinary: Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5

I have heard SO SO much good stuff about The Ordinary. Fleur De Force raves about them so i decided to try a product out as my skin needs nourishment (and their prices are very cheap so why not!) plus so many people rave about them. 

Tbh I actually wanted to try the foundation but it's sold out everywhere!! So i'm on the waiting list for it and so many people want it!! God only knows when i will get to try it. 

I have only just started using this so i will let you know if i like it.

Jeffree Star Cosmetics Velour Liquid Lipstick: Rose Matter

I purchased my first Jeffree Star Liquid Lipstick in the colour Rose Matter. Its a gorgeous colour. Quite bright but totally wearable everyday. I am wearing it in the photo below.

Next on my list is Mannequin. I just ordered it today so hopefully this will arrive in a few days.

Anastasia Beverlely Hills Dipbrow Pomade: Soft Brown

I also got another Anastasia Dip Brow Pomade, this time in soft brown. I have this in dark brown and have had it for over a year and its quite dry so i figured I would buy another but this time go lighter as my hair is lighter. I'm also wearing this in the photo above. I haven't used another brow product since discovering the dip brow! So you can tell i like it :)

Primark

I recently went to Primark too... There isn't much to say about Primark that you don't already know. You can great basics for a decent price. That the bee all and end all. I actually nipped into New Look on the same day and tried a few things on and was dissappointed. Its the same kinda stuff as primark but a bit more money. Seems pointless.

I have only posted a picure of this one outfit because I got this in different colour variations.

I got these trousers in 3 colours, these are a pink/blush and I also got them in Khaki and some white linen ones. Perfect for summer, As is the top! I also got this in a pale mint green colour. The shoes are a nude platform that isn't too high, so hopefully wont hurt the balls of my feet.

Lastly, I thought i'd show you this...it's recently been Easter, as if you didn't know!! (hehe)
Isn't this just the best egg!! (apart from Cadburys obvs) I mean the Mr totally did good with this one, I adore Lindor.

05: My New Office (Dressing Room)

I recently decided to ditch a massive set of drawers in my little dressing room to make room to incorporate a desk/dressing table. I had a bunch of old clothes in the drawers and i just wasn't using them to their full potential so its gone! as are the clothes.
The desk I found on facebook actually and i managed to get it for £20. I am hoping it will encourage me to spend more time in this room, on my laptop making more blog posts!

and the lighting is pretty damn good :)

I'd like to shabby chic the table but i haven't bought any paint just yet. Thats another project on the list!

I have a list as long as my arm!

Peace out.