Our Paid round of IVF

When our last NHS round failed i felt down. Why was this taking so long to work? Why could every else get pregnant so easily? I started to even resent the people that it worked first time for...and that was wrong but i was so fed up. Yet, it never entered my head to give up. I was all ready to start the process again...i hate waiting.

I knew we would now have to get a loan to fulfill our dreams. But luckily for us my fella's parents had the money set to one side and offered to pay for us. How amazing! 

We decided to check out Access Fertility as they have package deals and i had heard good things about them. We decided to do the 3 rounds, 50% refund programme. This was £10,800, which actually is a great deal considering a normal round can cost between £4-6k. We had to pay for the Meds ourselves, so that was probably around £900 for the first round (fresh)

I will do a run down of the process and things i did differently this round.

Supplements I have been taking for Egg Quality and overall IVF support

• Folic Acid (5mg)
• Collagen Complex with Hylauric Acid (recommended by Acupuncturist to support womb and keep it moist)
• CoQ10
• Levothyroxine 75mg (Prescribed for my Thyroid Antibodies)
• DHEA 75mg per day
• High Dose of Vit D

I also did accupuncture. I did around 2 sessions before collection, then a session before and after transfer.

Let's begin!

When our funding got approved, we could pretty much start on my next period. I got my meds from our clinic as they were cheaper then going to ASDA. I chose to take Lubion injections instead of pessaries as i really struggled with the pessaries (they are so messy) and i was always conscious i wasn't getting enough of the dose. 

The Stimming part of my cycle was pretty much like any other round. It went quick, and i responded well. I always seem to get a decent amount of follicles on each ovary, on my first scan they were between 9mm and 13mm with a random 16mm! I think i averaged around 16 on each side from what i can remember. after next couple of scans i was told to trigger on Saturday 2nd March at 10:30pm (this night i was throwing a surprise party for my fella's 40th! so i had to do it in the toilets) 

When we were talking about egg collection they suggested i may need to freeze all like i had done previously but i stressed how much i didn't want to do that this time and i really wanted to do a fresh transfer. She said as long as they don't get more than 20 eggs out then i can do a fresh. 

On collection day (Monday 4th March 10:30am) they got around 11 eggs. I was okay about that, it was average for us. I now just had to wait to see how many fertilised - this was the worrying stage. 

On the 5th March we got told that 3 had fertilised. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst. We had to pray all three survived. When they rang they asked if we would like to put two in this time....I said yes of course!

On 7th March they rang and said we wouldn't be doing a transfer today as there were no clear two front runners in our embryos and they wanted to get them to day 5. This was good news as it meant they were progressing well and they wanted to put the best two in. So we were penciled in for the 9th March. 

Transfer day! 9th March 2019.
We had two clear front runners now and they told us the gradings, we had a 5AB and a 3BB and put them both back in. We went in the morning, and then literally two hours later we were on a train to Manchester for food and drinks (no alcohol for me of course) with friends to celebrate my fella's birthday. I had such a good day laughing and eating the best food. It was the best thing we could have done as it took my mind off worrying about what to do after transfer...the do's and don'ts.

Its' all a load of bollocks the Do's and Don'ts.... Eating pineapple core and all that. 
The only advice i recommend is to keep your feet warm (keeps your womb warm), keep the blood flow going (accupuncture/walking) and laughing (this advice was from a friend who did IVF)

Here is the run down:

Day of transfer - still bloated and fat from collection. Transfer in am, Manchester Bem Brasil pm. Feeling really full. Ate a lot!

1dp5dt - kept waking up last night/early morn. Had about three wee’s. However I was out yesterday and drank a lot of liquid. Had salty food. And was still very bloated and gassy. Today I feel fairly normal. Pain on left side of lower back in pm.

2dp5dt - Accupuncture today. Woke up at 3:30am for a wee. Loose bowels 7am. Loose bowels again midday. Pain in lower left hand side of back.

3dp5dt - feel very normal. Work up early for a wee again. Loose bowels again. 

4dp5dt - decided i should test to check my trigger is out...bfp. faint line on frer. Think it might be trigger leaving as it’s 11days since trigger. Had that feeling that af was due this afternoon, like a dull ache...then yellow cm when wiping in Evening. sore boobs when touched. 

5dp5dt - bfp. awake between 1am-4am again. Had a wee. Can’t sleep. Cloudy wee with really faint line on frer again. (12 days past trigger) 7am wee. Sore boobs. Feeling full and period like in the afternoon again

6dp5dt - fri - BFP! This cant still be trigger!!

Sore boobs. 

7dp5dt - sat - BFP. Still sore boobs. Feel slightly nauseous sometimes...and having weird cramps/belly twinges.

Told our parents and close friends as they all know when we had transfer. Diarrhoea.

Afternoon nap. 

8dp5dt - sun 17th March- BFP. starving when I woke up, went out for lunch, it was awful. Came home and had diarrhoea. Had no tea and went to bed around 9. Really bloated 

9dp5dt - mon - BFP. Woke up with horrendous trapped wind in back and chest and belly. Had a headache most of the day. Little half hour nap when I got home. Early night 8pm. No sore boobs but I have also taken two paracetamol today. Nausea every so often.

10dp5dt - tues - awaiting more tests in the post. Hopefully will arrive today. Otd is tomorrow. Then need to ring clinic and let them know. Nausea. 

11dp5dt - OTD - BFP (2-3wks) on digi.

Going to clinic to get more meds. Scan booked for April 9th at 8am. Cramps and aches today. 

12dp - BFP Line is darker then control line :) shooting pains in Groin sometimes. Feeling bloated still but not as gassy. Gone off cups of tea. 

Clearblue digi 

17th March = 1-2 wks (8dpt)

20th March = 2-3 wks (11dpt)

27th March = 3+ wks (18dpt)

 

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On the 25th March i was supposed to be going to Cyprus to look at my potential wedding venue but because i got my BFP i didn't risk it. I didn't need a repeat of last year.  However they kindly face-timed me and the venue is so special! I cant wait for that.

My 7 week viability scan was booked for April 9th,  a week and a half before i got made redundant (great timing huh!) - it wasn't just me it was the whole of my team. And then at 6wks4days i had a brown blood bleed on my pantyliner. They told me it's normal and not to worry. However the day before my scan i had more blood, it was watery but heavier. the clinic let me come in because it got heavier and i had back ache. 

I picked my fella up and we drove quietly to the clinic, he kept saying not to worry and it would be fine but i just knew it was too much blood to be 'normal'. I told the nurse the bloody details and she lay me down on the bed to have the scan. Rick was behind the curtain. She popped wanda in and did a bit of rooting. I couldn't read her expression. Then she went "oh!, would you come inside" to my fella. Then said "what do you see there?" and he said, "A baby?" ....then, "two?"

She nodded and smiled but she looked shocked too. 

I couldn't help it...i said "Fuck off!" and then laughed out of pure joy whe she turned the screen to show me. I was so so shocked.

But yes we had two babies in there.....and a big blood clot. 

She warned us that i had to have a little time off work (2 weeks) and to take it easy because if this blood clot came out all at once it could take a baby or both with it. So we went home, absolutely over the moon but very cautious.

Twins!

Crazy shit.

Around 5 days later i had another big bleed. I went into the clinic again as i had passed some clotsbut thankfully they were still in there. The clot had reduced a little though. We got to see their heart beats too. 

When we made it to 12 weeks we announced it to everyone. 

I am now 33+2, and its' not been plain sailing, we've had a few hurdles but for the most of it, it's been a great pregnancy. We're having a boy and a girl, the girl had a bit more fluid on her brain than normal but this has corrected itself. But now she is measuring small, and is 21% below her brother. He is around 4lb and she is around 3lb.

I go for a specialist scan tomorrow, if he thinks she is ok to stay in, we have our c-section scheduled for 28th October 2019 (mine and Ricks 10 year anniversary)

However if they feel she isn't getting the nutrients she needs we may have two babies in the world very soon. 

For anyone who has read my story from the start, thanks for sticking with me. And for those who happen to fall upon it on their IVF journey, I wish you the best of luck and your time will come, just keep going. 

Wish me luck for my birth, i pray i have healthy babies. I am so nervous....and have no idea what to do when they arrive haha...but i'm sure that will be another future blog.

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IVF Update: No more Free NHS rounds left.

Hi Again,

I am almost at the end of the TWW. I am 9dp5dt and this morning i had another BFN. I know it's over. My OTD (Official Test Date) is actually Tues 13th (in 2 days time) but I've now had 3 BFNs in a row and even with my ectopic i had had a positive test by this point.

The worst bit about this now is that i've had a chemical, an ectopic and then this one that clearly didn't even get close. So i have to question my god damn womb. Whats the deal? Why you not let these embryos settle in? Is it the eggs? We know sperm is an issue but were doing ICSI so surely they are finding the best ones...

And now we don't have anymore free NHS goes. We have to find the funds to try again.

ACCESS FERTILITY
My goal for our next go is to get a decent amount fertilised and to day 5. We need frosties. Access fertility offer Multi-cycles and refund cycles. But they don't seem to be a finance loan company, i think they just bulk the whole IVF rounds into a package so you don't have to worry about paying as you go or being lumped with a massive bill.
Look like we are going to need to get a loan.

I feel so empty at the moment, i have no emotions, i'm just fed up of waiting for my time.

IVF Update & Haul - July 2017

01: IVF Update - BFP turned into a Chemical

When the world says "Give up", Hope whispers "Try one more time!"

Following on from my last update...I had had the endo scratch, which went fine and i had to wait for my period before start this FET round. Firstly I started taking my meds (Fragmin, Levothyroxine, Estrogen, Progynova, Folic Acid) and i had a scan around 10 days after to check the lining of my womb. I started taking my Progesterone Pessaries (ew they are messy and quite inconvient, haha) Everything was fine and they scheduled me in for my Transfer on the 13th July (my birthday)

They gave us a call on the 12th July to check we still wanted to go ahead (of course!!) and told us they were going to defrost our embryo :) and would call us back in an hour and half to let us know that it survived. We were so nervous!

After an hour i got a call. I was fearing the worst but the embryologist said it had thawed out perfectly and was a really good embryo, and it had even started to hatch. This was the best news. :)

On July 13th we got up early and drove 1.5hrs to the clinic (we were on holiday in yorkshire all week) 
They were really nice with us. I had a full bladder (as you are supposed to have one) and so i was so eager to get it done. I told the embryologist i had a tilted womb as she hadn't mentioned it and she said "Oh! Please empty your bladder then, it'll be so much harder with a full bladder" - music to my ears!

I lay on the bed with Rick next to me and then showed us our little embaby on the TV screen. It was a little beaut. 

It was a quick but careful procedure, it didn't hurt me at all and we could leave as soon as i was fully dressed afterwards. They wished us the best of luck, told me it wouldn't fall out so just treat it as any normal day but no heavy lifting for a while and she told me of a few things not too eat (pate, runny eggs etc etc)

We drove back to the cottage in Gisburn full of anticipation and hope. 

I was really offside on transfer day, and felt sick and hot the day after too. The following few days i sometimes felt bloated.
I wrote down how i was feeling each day:
2dp5dt (2 days past 5 day transfer) - Lower back ache, tired, losing my breath easy
3dp5dt - Small twinges near left ovary
4dp5dt - no notes!
5dp5dt - I had major cramps and bloating like i felt like i was going to come on my period. Feel uncomfortable sitting still. Lightheaded when missing a meal/not eating regularly.
6dp5dt - BFN (Big Fat Negative) on pregnancy test - no idea why i tested so early, slight back ache, slightly bloated.
7dp5dt - BF? Tested with a Clear Blue early response and i can see a shadow of a line, maybe an evap line?
8dp5dt - BFP!!! Very faint but definitely a line, heartburn
9dp5dt - Still a BFP but still very faint. Heartburn.
10dp5dt - BFP - Rick can clearly see the line. Heartburn, back ache.
11dp5dt - Blood Test Day at Wrightington. POSITIVE! We are pregnant - However my beta is only 22 and needs to double in the next 2 days. Heartburn, feeling bloated.
12dp5dt - didnt take a test. Wanted a break to enjoy it while i can. I google a lot about Beta's and know mine is not good so i am preparing for the worst. 
13dp5dt - BFN - Did a test and saw no line. Showed Rick and he couldn't see one either.   :(
Blood test 2.  They rang back and said my beta was 8.5 and that it was an early miscarriage (chemical pregnancy) and to stop all meds and wait to bleed. 

Very very emotional...however it a massive step compared to last time and i'm very happy to know i can get pregnant. It just wasn't our time. 
I hope this isn't something more sinister wrong like Natural Killer cells or anything, i'm hoping it just bad luck. 

I'm not gonna lie, its been a horrible week. Getting so excited whilst trying not too, seeing the two lines on a test, amazing!! And then the devastating news that it wasn't growing and wouldn't turn into our dream baby. Waiting to bleed. Starting to bleed. its horrible but yet i still feel positive and confident that it will happen for us eventually.

02: Haul Time!

Okay, so lets try and lighten the mod with a haul. When sad, shop!

I got some birthday money and had ful intentions of using it for another bottle of Estee Lauder doublewear and possibley some REN moisturiser. However, when in debenhas i happened to come across a pallette i had been eyeing up online for nearly a year. The Too Faced Sweet Peach Pallette. 

I mean come on!! Just look at it. Its soooo up my street. And smells delish. It was £39, but i had a £10 voucher so i got it for £29 :)

Whilst in Debenhams i had a smell of the Marc Jacobs Decadence and its amazing!!! So when i go away in Aug i am soooo buying that at Duty Free.

I also hit Primark whilst in town, it had to be done. The range was rather shite though, the Wigan Primark did not hit the spot this weekend. I did get a couple of things though, and i love them so much. 

Please welcome my first ever playsuit (will only ever wear this on holiday) and my first pair or 90's mules. Haha.

The playsuit is actually a size up from what i would normally buy because they didn't have my size, however i don't mind this as it feel nice and comfortable. It's black, white and khaki. £10 Primark.

I never thought i would buy a pair of these. I've seen some many vloggers/bloggers getting on this trend and i was lie "omg those are awful!" and yet here i am loving them. I really don't know what changed my mind. These were £10 Primark. They are a lovely mink/nude/grey? I'm not 100% sure what colour they are but i do love them. They have a few other colours and i was tempted by the nude but these looked good with my skin tone however the nude would have gone with every outfit. 

I also picked up these chokers and earrings for my holiday. 

When i was in London at the beginning of July, Gymshark had a pop up store and me and my sister popped in :)

I got the matching leggings and sports bra in grey. The leggings are super high waisted, and super comfy. 

 BUY HERE £40 - (the lilac top is from Tesco £8)

The below camo jacket is from Tesco and is my favourite purchase this month. It's warm even though it's not full sleeves and its casual but gives a little bit of something extra to an outfit. I think it was £15 in the sale. 

5 Things: June 2017

Do you ever try to start a blog post and really just not know where to start? Yup me too.

I'm currently sat at my new (second-hand) desk, on my macbook, watching youtube videos on another laptop whilst i am writing. It's quite hard to write and to watch videos at the same time. I know, i am a woman and should be able to multi task...but not this time.

01: IVF Update - Endo Scratch

On my last update i took you up to the point where we got told we had one frozen embryo....After my egg collection AF arrived on the Sunday (6 days after collection, the day after we got told about our frostie) which was pretty damn early, in fact is was day 23 of my cycle. Luckily i am scheduled for a FET so it didn't really matter, However my next AF arrived on day 41!  So it fel a bit screwed up but I think honestly that was my body getting back to normal because my last one was so early.

Now i am on day 21 and have just been to the Clinic to have an Endo Scratch. This is a process quite similar to having a smear test. They scratch the lining of the womb, and this provokes a reaction within the inner lining of the womb. Hormones and chemicals are released to help the lining repair itself. Basically it gives you a better chance of your embryo attaching because it is already in repair mode.

When my next AF arrives in around 10 days i will start on my Estrogen tablets, and around day 12-14 i will have a scan and my transfer will be arranged. I also have to take pessaries :( I don't really like these but its for a good cause.

Once again the doctor said this cycle wouldn't be counted as a 'go' if it doesn't work because the clinic messed up with our chemical and it wasn't fair. Which should mean we get two more goes if this doesn't work. But fingers crossed it does. :)


02: Haul!!

I have had a bit of a spend recently (I hope Rick isn't reading this!) and i thought i'd share my faves with you.

I have been on the hunt for some new sandals for this summer to replace my tatty nude faves from last year. These shown below are from Asda and i knew they were a winner as soon as i saw them because of the studded stars (I have a star/galaxy obsession - but only if its good quality) and these are leather and proper nice studs. They also don't tie around the ankle (which i hate because i have fat ankles)
I must admit they were a bit uncomfortable on the toes when i first wore them but then after that they have been fine. So comfy and will go with anything. Winner!

BUY HERE

This little cutie is from a shop near us called GeeTees, I think it was £4.

These green linen trousers are from Tesco, these were actually in the sale so i picked them up for about £14 i think. I don't think there is anything better than linen trousers in summer, they are effortlessly cool and casual and can be dressed up easily. They only had a size up from what i usually wear but i had to have them just for the colour. I love that they are baggy and a bit big. I just tie them tight at the top and they kinda go a bit paperbag style, which looks good when my top is tucked in. Plus with them being a size up its more comfortable when pigging out on bbq food and drinks :)

BUY HERE

Because i'm trying to get fit and lose weight i decided i needed some new trainers. I did have some black nikes but they were getting a bit grotty. These below are from Sports direct (because it's full of bargains!) They are really comfortable and they let air in when walking/running, and they're bouncy :) yeah there isn't much else to say, they are really great. Not bad for £60.

BUY HERE

Camo leggings 'Fearless' £5.25!!

LUSH LUSH LUSHHHHHH (:

Lush is pricey right?! I can't be the only one that thinks it's slightly overpriced. However, i do like the stuff they sell. Gahh. 

I have heard that Roots is a great hair treatment that helps prevent your hair from going greasy and makes it fuller. I have fine hair, I have very damaged bleach weird colour hair and it definitely needs a treatment. It smells minty, which is a good start. Lush say:

The root to great hair starts at the scalp. Mint’s active ingredient, menthol, is used in three different ways in this pre-wash scalp treatment to stimulate the scalp and hair follicles. This improves blood circulation that feeds new hair growth. Menthol also slows down the hair fall process, so your scalp will retain as much hair as genetics will allow.  Menthol and citric acid are especially beneficial for thin and fine hair wanting a bushy boost. Honey is a humectant and helps retain moisture in the scalp. Extra virgin olive oil strengthens new hair at the root which helps to prevent breakage. Roots is particularly beneficial for tight hair styles which pull on the hair root.

I also picked up two bath bombs: Yellow Submarine and Avobath.
I based my choices on the smell, does anyone else do this??

I also picked up this weird rainbow thing...apparently it can be used as bubbles, shampoo or soap. Pretty versatile right?? I actually cant wait to use it, i will probably use it first as bubbles and soap. I'll be honest, i am quite hesitant to use it as shampoo. But it smells lush! (see what i did there?)

I have been off work this week so we ventured out to Bury Market on Wednesday. I must say it's definitely worth a visit, its huge compared to other markets i've been too.

I picked up some earrings on sale...

Yes i am very aware these are fake Vivienne Westwoods, but i love them and really don't have the funds to buy the real deal at the moment.

I have seen quite a few vloggers advertising this Batiste 2 in 1 dry shampoo/conditioner and I got suckered in by the hype.
I'm so curious, I do like dry shampoo but my hair is never workable the day after i've washed it as it is so fine it just sticks to my head or all over the place so i usually pt it up in a ponytail. However i do want to try and use this and see if i can work with my bed head. I will let you know what i think.

03: Race For Life - Update on my Mum

Sunday 4th June - 11am Pennington Flash

My mum had her hysterectomy literally a week after being told she had cancer. It was so fast!! She had keyhole surgery and has recovered well. She's only having a few issues (her scars etc) but she is back at work and has been told she only has to go back in 6 months for a check up. What a relief!

We signed up to this run only the week before but still managed to raise about £200, so i was very proud.

Jemma, Darcey, Hayley, Me, Katie (sister) 

I'm not gonna lie, we didn't run but we jogged and mostly fast walked :)

04: Getting Motivated - Fitness and Diet

For the past month i have been going to the gym and counting Macro's. I haven't even lost 1lb. WHAT A FAIL!
So as of Monday i am back following Slimming World, but not attending group. This means giving up cheese (I always use Milk for my brews as HexA) and probably giving up bread (I'll have Alpens or Ryvita as my HexB)

Its hard work not having the app though. I wonder if you can just pay to use the app but not be a member?

I'm really enjoying the gym though, I go to Pilates and Bodytone on Wednesdays and a Plyo class on Saturday Mornings plus i'm trying to get in normal gym time on a Tuesday and Thursday if possible. I have a programme by one of the instructors so thats helpful.

I've got my Fitbit back up and running too!

05: Getting Motivated - Blogging

This one i struggle with majorly. I don't mind taking the pictures and i know what i want to say to you in my head but actually getting it down here on the blog seems really hard work. I don't know if it's just because my laptop is getting old and frustrating or if i just don't fully have the motivation needed, but i really want to get good at this. It also doesn't help that i am blogging to no-one! I need to get the blog out there. I also need to improve my photo quality, but i only have my iphone 7+ at the moment.

I have a few trips coming up and i'd like to do some reviews so hopefully they will be posted very soon. I am aiming for around 2 more posts byt the end of June, then in July i have my FET and a trip to Ribblesdale Cottages and London for the Harry Potter Cursed Child theatre play. I cannot wait!!

My IVF Journey so far.

So i thought i'd update a little bit on where we are up to with our IVF journey.

I had an appointment in June to check on my weight loss progress and by that point i was 2lb off getting my 1and a half stone award at Slimming world. The doctor was really happy and worked out my BMI was 31. (it has to be 30 to start) But he said he would check where we are on the waiting list and if we are near the top he will start us.
It turns out we reached our 6 month wait on the 15th June!! Woop Woop, so we can now start.

It's not quick though, our next appointment is on the 25th July (bearing in mind this is 3.5 weeks after we was told we can start) So now i'm just waiting for this appointment.....I am so impatient i hate waiting!! It's a Pre-treatment appointment. I have no idea what happens but i hope we can actually start and i get my meds/injections etc.

Our doctor in the local paper: